Why do so many black men seem to hate black women? Black women are the only set of women who might be interested in their own counterpart and and have to worry if the guy is “into black chicks.” She has to worry if he’s only into “mixed , exotic, or white girls”. It is a constant slap in the face. How can black men be brothers, fathers, sons and friends of women of color and still grow up to proudly hate black women?
How can they subject their women to colorism? How can they lump an entire race of women together and claim that they all exhibit the same poor characteristics and mannerisms? Why would they aide in spreading the stereotypes of black women being loud, un-submissive, ghetto, fat, weave wearing, ugly, untamed women when you know it isn’t true? It takes a certain level of self hatred to be able to turn away from your own race.
In my opinion many black men are suffering from what Jean-Paul Sartre describes as bad faith. Bad faith is when “human beings under pressure from social forces adopt false values and disown their innate freedom, hence acting in-authentically”. Because society has told the black man that black women are sub human and inferior, even though he knows these stereotypes are untrue he forces himself to believe it. An example of bad faith would be a black man being birthed and raised by a beautiful black woman and then turning around and saying that he doesn’t date black women because they cant be tamed, are not domesticated, and are not nurturing.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with interracial relationships. However, when you are disgusted by your own race there must be a root cause. Black men are disenfranchised from society. They may feel that if they are able to disassociate themselves from black women they will be able to disconnect from their”blackness”. They may feel that if they are associated with white, Latin, or light skinned women they will be respected. This is a classic case of bad faith. The truth is no matter how many members of another race you associate yourself with you will always be a black person. Ethnicity is one of the few things about yourself that you cannot change.
It should also be noted that black men that are more educated and financially stable are more likely to marry a black woman. Even though many celebrities choose to date or marry interracially after reaching fame, the opposite is true for most successful black men.Census data from 2005 to 2009, analyzed by Toldson and Bryant Marks of Morehouse College found that 83 percent of black men with with six-figure annual incomes are married to black women. Which means successful black men do find value in black women. This further proves my initial hypothesis.
Successful black men are fully aware that the best way for the black community to move forward is through the strengthening of the black family. Could it be that because they already feel respected they do not feel the need to compensate by engaging in bad faith and stereotypes? Could it be that black men with lower incomes prefer women of other races because they feel that distancing themselves from black women will make them more acceptable in society?
This would also explain the surge in interracial dating for celebrities and athletes. Since most of these men come from humble beginnings they may be suffering from the preconceived notion that dating women of other races make them better men. They may feel that since they are in the public view they need to over compensate.
It would be an interesting study to note celebrities that came from poorer income families and the women they eventually married as opposed to celebrities that came from higher income families. Some examples would could include: Barack and Michelle Obama, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey(divorced), Jay-Z and Beyoncé, and Denzel and Pauletta Washington. Some interracial couples could include: Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren (divorced), Tim Duncan and Amy (Divorced), Russell Wilson and Ashton Meem (Divorced), and Terrence Howard and Lorri McCommas (divorced). I notice another trend from that brief analysis but we will leave that for another day….
What are your thoughts?