Stop Sharing All of Your Goals With Your Friends

I recently came across an article speaking about Why You Need To Move Away From Your Hometown and it made me think. Some of the same reasons you should move from your hometown are the same reasons why you should not share your goals with your closest friends and associates.

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They find it hard to see your growth

Your friends always remember the person you “used” to be. They remember that little girl who wasn’t confident. The guy that never spoke up for himself. The lady who let people walk all over her. Thankfully people grow! People blossom to become smart, successful, beautiful versions of their younger selves.

The person you were when you were 18 is not the same person you will be at 38. It simply cannot be!  You will experience different things and gain so much knowledge. You will naturally change, transform and grow. Unfortunately those that are growing along side of you find it difficult to see this growth. They also find it intimidating if they are not growing as quickly. They still expect you to still have the same hobbies, interests, mannerisms, and behaviors. When you change and show your growth to it may seem like your being fake or disingenuous.

They don’t want you to surpass them 

This is not because your friends are bad people! In a study done on Mammon Sickness it was discovered that ” people would rather have $50,000 and all of their peers have $25,000 than for their peers to have $200,000 and the person have $100,000. This means that, even though the person in the second scenario would have twice as much money as in the first, people would rather be poorer on the whole if it means they have more money than the people around them”. DJ Khalid said it best “they don’t want you to get that six figure job”.

Nobody wants to carry last. Even though your friends might be great people, sometimes they might not be able to subdue their jealousy. Nobody wants the next person to do badly in life. But unfortunately people don’t want you to do better than them either. This is especially true for people in your inner circle. If you divulge too much of your plans you might be surprised that some of your friends might go as far as sabotaging you.

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They might become jealous of your aspirations because their dreams are not as big 

Some people are naturally small minded. They feel that because you came from the same humble beginning there is no way you can achieve what you’ve dreamed for yourself. In my own case I remember when I was still in undergrad. I let one of my “advisers” know something that I really wanted to do. You wouldn’t imagine that she turned around and told me that she sees me as “an executive house wife”  and she didn’t think that I would be able to do the work needed to accomplish that goal. I have numerous stories of various women saying similar things to me in the past.

After some time I came to realize that it was a mixture of jealousy and their own limitations that made them believe that I wouldn’t be able to accomplish my dreams. Don’t let anyone discourage you!  Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t go to medical school because there will be no one to take care of your children. Don’t let anyone tell you that you wont be able to become an engineer because your not good at math. Don’t let anyone tell you that you cant play a sport because you are a woman!  Don’t let anyone tell you that you cant become a politician because you aren’t smart enough to get through law school! You can do whatever you focus on as long as you put in the work!

In closing,  always remember that you are good enough! You are smart enough! You have the work ethic. You have what it takes to succeed. Not saying that you should keep everything your doing to yourself but be smart about those that you tell your dreams to. You don’t have to share every detail. Also be cautious about their responses. Not everyone will be happy for you. Not everyone has your best interest at heart.

What are your thoughts?

 

 

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