With the New Year passing people are already discussing the people they have dropped in the 2016. Well I’m here to burst your bubble! I used to think with the same mind setting. However, I quickly realized that it is not as easy as it seems to cut all ties with people. For example if a friend seriously offends you and you decide to cut them off it might become a burden. What happens if the negative person in your life is a family member? Will you ignore them at the Thanksgiving table every year? It becomes more of a burden on the person that was offended than the person that actually committed the offense.
You have to keep in mind that people often socialize in small circles. If you cut someone off you will surely see this person again and again. Often times your friends will not care to engage in whatever issue you are having with the person. What happens when you and the person are invited to the same events? Will you now pretend like you don’t see them and ignore them? It easily becomes very childish.
You also don’t want to put your friends in a position where they have to always pick cutting off the person or remaining friends with you. You will be surprised how many people will betray you and still remains friends with the other person.
The best thing to do in this type of situation is to stop making yourself available to the person for sometime and then reevaluate the relationship . This time off can be as long as you need to not feel irritated whenever you see them. If it takes you a full year then by all means cut off all ties for a full year. During that time if you know the person is going to be at an event just don’t got. Its better than you feeling awkward and pretending like you don’t know them and avoiding them in conversations. After you’ve taken time to yourself then you can go back to the person and have a conversation about whatever happened between the two of you.
- Don’t expect an apology. Normally when people offend another person its not about you. Its about themselves. They don’t even see the wrong in what they did and the may never see it.
- Forgive but don’t forget. Don’t be an idiot. Depending on the offense this person should not become your best friend after one week. The person can still be apart of your social group but they have to be kept at an arms length. After keeping them away or a certain amount of time this will be very easy.
- Be a big girl/boy. Even if you can’t be completely coridial with the person you should still be able to be in the same room, say hello, and sit next to them without World War III!
Of course if you really can’t stand someone you should keep your distance. But don’t make it a habit. Its not everyone that offends you that you should just cut off. Sometimes we have to grow up and learn how to be tolerant.
Have you ever cut a close friend off?