He Used To…

I ran across this weeks episode of Toke Makinwa’s vlog and it reminded me of my blog post about Womens 3 biggest dating mistakes. Her vlog this week is titled”He Used To” and its all about women who fail to see the potential in a guy before its too late. They often find themselves saying things like “He used to date me, He used to try and talk to me, He wanted me first, etc etc etc.”Untitled-22

Don’t let that be you! Don’t notice all the potential in a toaster after he has already moved on to the next babe. Even worse if he has moved on to someone you know! It shouldn’t be after he has started dating Michelle that you notice he’s handsome, responsible, and kind. By that point its too late! Many women allow a guy to chase and chase until he gets tired and goes somewhere else. When the guy finds someone thats actually interested in him the original girl becomes jealous and wants to find a way for him to be back in her life. This is one of the biggest dating mistakes.

Over shakara is killing relationships especially in  African communities. Of course you have to pose a bit. You don’t want to come off as easy or desperate but there is a limit. After chasing for a very long time even the most patient guy will grow tired. You don’t want it to be when you see him somewhere else years later that you now notice his potential. Notice it when he first approaches you.

Everyone is meant to grow. Where a person is now is not where they are going to be in 5 – 10 years. Don’t feel like you are “too big” to date a guy. Don’t feel that he is not “on your level.” Before you make any of those conclusions you must first evaluate his worth ethic and personality. After that you can chose if he is a good fit for you. Don’t write anyone off automatically. So much can change in just one year!

Have you ever found yourself saying “He Used To?”


  1. […] Even if you didn’t want him you knew he liked you. If your honest with yourself you know its true. The only unfortunate part is that he didn’t want a relationship he only wanted sex. This happens very frequently. If you had noticed his potential earlier maybe something could have come of it. I spoke more about learning the potential in a guy on time here. […]


  2. […] my opinion, a guys future might be bright. I spoke about this in my He Used To post. However, you have to be realistic. If the guy is pushing 40, no degree, and chasing a rap […]


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