Time for GIIIIIIIIIIIIIST! I was just thinking about some tips that could have saved me when I first met my Igbo mother in law. Even though all Nigerian mothers can be tough it was especially hard for me because my mother is Yoruba so I wasn’t really sure what to do. I knew it was a big deal but I guess I didn’t realize that the first impression would last a lifetime. It wasn’t just a big deal it was a HUGE deal. Maybe some of these tips can help someone else out, take a look =)
- DO NOT BE AFRAID!
It’s almost like they can smell fear. If you seem too uptight, reserved, or nervous she will sense it. I know it may be hard but just try your best to remain calm and relaxed.
2. Greet like a Yoruba Girl no matter Your Tribe
You want her to know that you respect her and realize that she is a bigger person. You need to humble yourself as much as possible. This is not the time to “carry shoulders.”Be sure to bend your knees a bit upon first meeting her. She may tell you that it is not necessary but this will show her that you are properly trained and respect her.
3. Don’t call her Aunty
Are you mad? lol She is not your mate. Nor is she your mates mate. In her mind if you are dating (read as having sex with) her “child” then she clearly does not deserve the “Aunty” title. This is more appropriate for your husband-to-be’s older sister if she is present at the meeting.
At the first meeting it might be too forward to refer to her as “mommy.” But at least end each sentence with “ma.”At the end of the meeting she might tell you what she would to prefer you to call her. It may be something along the lines of mama Kenna, Ada Ugo, Ezinne or whatever she likes!
4. This is not the time to expose your curves
Please refrain from the low cut shirts and mini skirts. This should be self explanatory. Not saying that you should not show yourself in your natural form but you do not want to give her the impression that you frequently expose yourself. A knee length dress is best for this type of meeting in my opinion.
5. Sorry I know it 2016 but keep your opinion to yourself
Girl! This is not the time to get into a screaming battle with your boyfriend. The LAST thing you want is for her to think is that you will be disrespecting her son when you get into his house. If he does something you really disagree with during the meeting just swallow it and save it for a later time. I sha told you….
6. Do the dishes
If you love yourself you will never allow a Nigerian mother in law wash her own dishes! Even if there is house help at least offer to pack the dishes. You would hate for her to think you are a dirty or lazy girl.
7. Relax on the makeup
No need for long story. Keep the makeup to a minimum. You don’t want her guessing what you really look like under all that foundation. You might want to do something that you would do for an interview. Classy and cute. This is not the time for smokey eye and red lip!
In current times mothers are hip to tattoos. However, at the first meeting this might not be the best time to expose it. When you become part of the family you can start introducing them but not at the first meeting.
9. Igbo Soups
We all know the way to a mans heart is his stomach. She wants to know that her son will be well fed. It is good to know somethings about your mans native soup.
She won’t ask you to prepare it but don’t be oblivious either. If your man is from Imo, find out about Okazi/Ofe Owerri, if he’s from Anambra state, find out things about Onugbu or Ora soup. You can ask your sister in law for help.
10. Be Yourself
Everyone else is taken so be yourself. If you’ve taken the time to read until the end of this blog I’m sure you will be fine because you truly care and have good intentions. Don’t worry all will be fine.
I hope this helps! Please comment with your own tips and your own experiences meeting your MIL.